Sunday, August 3, 2008

tymz o' depression...

Some tymz it feels so alone...inspite o' d most chearful ppl around...and deep down everyone and I myself noe wat d reason is...but I hate to acknowledge d fact dat ''i had sm1 hu was never mine''. D worst thing being I never tell nebody wat m actually feeling...and let ppl hear what THEY wanna hear......dat m happy happy...n' nuffin'z wrong wid me....wen actually my world is turning up-side-down!!!I simply feel dat otherz as in genrally ppl wont take matter d way I take it...de'll b prejudiced towards me...ofcrs as in de are my frndz and family yaa..de'll try to explain as though the WHOLE mistake was of the 'other one'!


The thing is I myself dont noe hw to explain everything so dat I get a good enough reason for-> why did every thing ever had to start when der was no end???difficult....extremly difficult to put 2 n' 2 together to make sence o' everything dat is happening around me...but anything hardly makes sence anymore...though m optimistic...but smhw d so called 'luv' does'nt makes sence AT ALL to me now...as far as noe myself it wont make ne sence to me ever.......but still my BIG problem o' loving ppl inspite o' d fact dat i noe dat THEY do not luv me....i love dem...i guess dat makes d whole thing more strong for me dat d other person doesnt lyks me...and dats d reason m desperate to noe d faults b'coz o' which de are behaving so...!!!!


I noe dat i above paragraph hardly makes any sence...but dats another huge problem o' being in stress...one is'nt able to figure out thingz....and everything in d world seems to be against oneself...the feeling o' no one'll ever think and imagin the whole 'prospect' d way I do...make u feel so out o' place...


I noe if I'll ever try to clear dese confusions wid ne o' my frndz de'll litrally try to kill me coz I did nt discuss it wid dem...but guyz m really sorry...lyk i said dats wat depression is....d whole world seems to b against u!!!!


but smtyms pretending to b happy can actually lead u to feel internally happy...though nt olwayz...but smtymz...but m absolutly against pretending...m o' dose ppl who feel happyness is ol around, its just dat u are overseeing d oppertunity.
Just recently I read an article about what EXACTLY is luck, and the writer had done research on this. He says that luck is by chance and it comes with change...meaning if we dont change according to the changes that take place around us we loose many oppertunities and grabing the right oppertunity at the right time is what is called LUCK!!Similarly if we WANT happiness it WILL come to us; we need not search for it.
ummmmmmmmm...ahem ahem...well THAT was melodramatic!(LMAO).
I hope its not me who keeps on questioning life...and others do the same...

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